Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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whats dirtier than lady gaga's penis in justin bieber's vagina? nothing.

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How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

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Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Joe Joe who? Your friend Joe OK come in

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A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

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What's spotted and has dildos strapped to their neck? Jews

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nofin Eejit.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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Every time a bell rings, a noise is made.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

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How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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4 black people in a car drive of a cliff. the sad thing is there was a extra seat.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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Pinus Testicles

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Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

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After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

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"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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