Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

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How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

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bum sex lol

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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Why do migrant birds fly to the south? Because they can't get there on foot.

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roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

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Two aspies don't walk into a bar.

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Where do babies come from? My garage

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God bless America, and no where else.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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why does column have a letter n?

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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What's worse than dropping your icecream? Slavery

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water jack collapsed because of serious drug abuse and stress jill followed after not being able to handle the tragedy of her brothers death this wouldn't have happened if they got into my van when i asked them too.

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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what do you call gingers ugly.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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