Hi is the longest two letter word in the world

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why did the pinapple walk the plank? to eat a cat because cheese say people!

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If your flying upstream in a kayak and a wheel flys off, how many pancakes can fit into a dog house? None, because ice-cream is alergic to frogs!

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Q. Why did Mary fall down the steps? A. Because she had no legs.

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There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is there isn't any good news.

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What's a cow's favorite vacation spot? the slaughterhouse.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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redtube

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

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Your mums a penis joke.

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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Why does it take more than one blond to replace a light bulb? Because one had no arms, thus requiring the help of another person. It just so happened that that other person was a blond.

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

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whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

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Nippies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops