so little jonny was doing bad in school like always so he decided to drop out and now he cant get a job and will have a terrible life and die alone

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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When life gives you aids, make aids-aid.

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Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

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Caller: Is your fridge running! Callee: ... umm yes? Caller: I guess you don't need my services. Thanks Callee: ok bye

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What's a cow's favorite vacation spot? the slaughterhouse.

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A baby gets hit by a bus.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

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Why does it take more than one blond to replace a light bulb? Because one had no arms, thus requiring the help of another person. It just so happened that that other person was a blond.

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Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

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.....Carrot Top....

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

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How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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Mrs. Welsh

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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Yo mama is... a very nice person, and her cooking is exquisite.

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What is the biggest lie in the entire universe? I agree to the terms of service.

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Is this where I type the joke?

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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I went to the game and saw a Mexican wave. So I waved back at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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