What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Why was Michael Jackson seen shopping at Kmart? Because he heard little boys pants were 50% off the original price.

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My tractor broke down.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

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Why did Suzue fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night? Cot death.

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A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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Yo momma so fat you have aids

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What's worse than being a jew in the holocaust Being born black

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Why did the black man leave the bar? Someone shot his girlfriend.

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Geography Teacher: Bill, British Columbia agreed to join confederation when the government of Canada agreed to do what? Bill: To build a bridge to where my father is who is divorced with my mom.*tear* Geography Teacher: Is that really nesscary Bill? You have a detention.

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What kind of car does Yoda drive? Nothing, Yoda doesn't exist.

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What will you never see? A white guy that camp jump.

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Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

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Q: whats snoop doggs favourite weather? A: drizzle

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman crashed onto a desert island... The Englishman swiftly used his satellite phone to broadcast their location and they were taken home to their worried families.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Hi, I'm just going through the neighborhood to let everyone know that women secretly enjoy being raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops