- Anti Joke

how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

Why did Helen Keller's cat kill itself? It didn't, I did.

Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

i hate it when Voldemort showers in my nutella

Why did the tree get mad at the bush? It didn't. Bushes are inanimate objects, and so are trees.

why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

if x marks the spot, what does y do? y does the laundry.

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

What is large white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A refridgerator

why did the baby bird fall out of the nest? while the mother bird was away a cat knocked over the nest. needless to say the baby bird died.

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

A man who can't spell walks into an Arab.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

Why did the child laugh at the anti-joke? Because it was funny

JLo made a song about my diick- "On the Floor"

A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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