A man walks into a bar and says "hey bartender wanna help me out!" The bartender says "no."

Knock Knock! Who's there? Joe Joe who? Your friend Joe OK come in

What's spotted and has dildos strapped to their neck? Jews

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

4 black people in a car drive of a cliff. the sad thing is there was a extra seat.

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

Every time a bell rings, a noise is made.

How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

What did the cat say to the dog? Nofin Eejit.

Where did the little girl go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Pinus Testicles

Sometimes I hope into bed and pretend I'm a carrot!!!!

After dinner, my girlfriend told me that we should go to my room to play with eachother's toys. It was very fun, I've always enjoyed the plastic dinosaur she decided to bring over.

Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

Pull over dat ass to fat, no seriously your blocking a firelane

What did Hitler say to the lady right next to him before the both committed suicide? I don't know, I don't understand German. I also wasn't there.

A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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