What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

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Why is there a dead pakistani on my couch? Because someone put him there.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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Two aspies don't walk into a bar.

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Where do babies come from? My garage

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roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

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Why do migrant birds fly to the south? Because they can't get there on foot.

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How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

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What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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A black guy and Hispanic guy jump off the Empire State Building at the EXACT same time. Who dies first? Who cares?!

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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God bless America, and no where else.

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what do you call gingers ugly.

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What's worse than dropping your icecream? Slavery

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What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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why does column have a letter n?

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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The other day, I broke my snare drum.... I still haven't fixed it and am planning on doing so soon.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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