A Mexican walks up to a fence in Texas and watches as the police take away his next door neighbor for tax evasion.

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What did the apple say to the apple? Nothing, they're apples.

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What is worse than finding a worm in ur apple Idk I am asking u

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-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

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Whats worse than finding a giant spider in your bedroom? Loosing it...

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What lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japanese People

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Q: What is the likely outcome of anyone who watches 'WWE'? A: They will lose their virginity to a hooker.

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why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

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What kind of cheese doEs god like? Swiss cheese because it's holy!

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What did the man with cancer do? Die

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why did sally fall of the swing? SHE HAD NO ARMS!

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

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A man walks up to an attractive woman and asks "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" The woman replies "No, it's hot in here. It is a record breaking 114 degrees outside, which means everybody is using their air conditioner. Due to the large amount of energy air condioners require, the power has gone out in this building and the air conditioner is not functional. The tempurature in the building is 103 degrees and three children are in the emergency room because of heat stroke."

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there is a woman named shannen. she is happily married and has children.

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What's worse than losing something? Dieing.

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Your momma is so fat, that her doctor recommended that she goes on a diet in order to prevent early death caused by a heart problem.

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What do you call a drunk cannibalistic Jew? A HeBrew!

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Knock Knock!! Who's There? No one, your being ding dong ditched!

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Jerry.

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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larry clark i smoke pot and im gay its phillup

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What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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