Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

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Q: What did the littl boy with cancer get for christmas? A: Nothing, he didnt make it that far.

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Why wouldn't you want OJ Simpson babysitting your kids? Why? He's in jail and he wouldn't be available when you needed him

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What did the teacher say to the pupil who was bad at maths? You are bad at maths and will never complete any sum EVER!

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A man walks into a bar, and has to go to the hospital because he broke his nose.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? None, because feminists can't change anything

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How many dead babies can you fit in a sink? I don't know i forgot to turn the garbage disposal off

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Iggy Azalea

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What's worse than not finding your true love in high school? Dying

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knock! knock! whos there!?! abandoned baby!

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Once upon a time There was an ugly barnacle He was so ugly That everyone died The end!

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what do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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Q: What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A: A pool table

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Your mother is so ugly that people make yo mamma jokes about her

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whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

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What sounds really bad? An accordion.

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() () () () () () () ------ *__________* yo can go %$*# yourself =~~ 0

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Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

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Ahhh! Grandpa your going too hard!

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How do you call a guy with a school bus on his head? Dead. It's highly unlikely that a man would be able to withstand the weight of a massive school bus on his head and survive.

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Why should you be concerned when you see a mexican riding a bike? because he probably wasnt wearing a helmet

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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