roses are red violets are blue i uhh umm hold on... the man with Alzheimers proceeds to think of the rest of his poem he wrote for his date, after an hour he remembers but his date has left and the staff proceed to guide him out and back to the insane asylum

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this website is the funniest thing i've ever seen, besides everything i've seen that's funnier than it

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The Sarah Palin bus tour to teach children about history.

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Scene:restraunt Me:can I have a coke please? Waiter:sorry we don't have any, is Pepsi ok? Me:is monopoly money ok?

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What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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hey bill!

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JUSTIN BIEBER PERFUME!

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Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

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What did one cannibal set to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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A woman walks out of the kitchen, she gets slapped by her sexist husband.

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Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

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What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

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for keeps?

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Are u that bald or is your neck blowing bubbles.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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So this guy comes into a bar... Jizz eveywhere.

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

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What does a plum and a rabbit have in common? A: they're both purple, except for the rabbit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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