two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +25

My penis is small, Just kidding, it's huge.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, "The one whom I kiss is the one you seek. " To which they responded, "Gay. "

thumb_up thumb_down +25

12 sea cows waddle into a bar... Yea, I bet, you'd like to hear the end of that one.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you get a taco? Buy one!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q.why was ireland takin over by the brits A.they wanted it

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Jews

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Dear crush, I want to drink you

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops