What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

A kid walks into a ctholic school and asks about the therory of evolution.

What happens when you stab yourself in the heart? You die.

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because ie was glued to the other one. why did the third elephant fall out ot the tree? Because he thought it was a game. why did the tree fall? Because there were elephants in it.

A black man walks up to a bank teller and pulls out a gun, he proceeds to tell the bank teller he saw a white man drop it outside the bank.

What did the Scientist say to the bookstore owner he met? "Hi."

--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms why did no one pick her up? she was an orphan why did she drown? puddle...

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

if life gives you lemons you probably have problems

whats worst than school? the earth exploding whats worse than the earth exploding? the sun exploding whats worse than the sun exploding? 10,000 suns exploding

Q:What did I get for Christmas? A:You, put on this leash.

"Doctor," I said while poking my head, "My head hurts!" I poked my knee. "My knee hurts, too!" Then I tried touching my arm. "OW! So does my arm!" I even tried poking my teeth. "OUCH! Even my teeth hurt! What will I do Doctor?" "That's easy," said the Doctor, "I'll fix your finger right away."

*you're

you just contradicted yourself.

What's red and eats tulips? Your face!

Duh, its red not ginger, like really really red... Not unlike my eyes, which is a bit of the reason I dye it., I also use colored contact lenses most of the time now.

What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

Why are black people so tall ? Genetics. duh.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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