A man buy's a new lawn mower, it breaks so he takes it back. The shopworker says that if you don't have a recipt then you cannot replace it, the man goes home and months later catch's a flu.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue.

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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You have 6 basketballs. One rolls away. How many do you have? None because your family has a low income, lives in a broken down trailer, and has 5 other kids to supply for.

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What kind of cheese doEs god like? Swiss cheese because it's holy!

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What do you do when you have those days where you feel that you go back three damn steps for every step you take towards your goal? DUUUUUH! You turn your back, see? Now you are getting three steps at the right direction for every right one! LOGIC!

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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POO IS LARGE WHEN IT COMES OUT OF ME

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What do you call a man who walks at your door in a Saturday morning? A jehovah witness.

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bum sex lol

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Knock Knock Who's there? *silence* Silence Who?

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Luke Futie

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When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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A Black guy and a Mexican guy walk into the bar. The bar tender offers to buy them a round of drinks because he can tell they had a hard day at the office.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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How do you get 100 illegal immigrants into a furnace? Tell 'em it's England.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Shoes

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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