What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LJP1DphOWPs#!

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Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

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What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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Why is a blonde a door knob... Because everybody gets a turn

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

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who steals more than a black person?, a pirate.

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

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How do you survive the plague? you dont.

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A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

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A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

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What did the nazi say to the jew? im gay

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Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops