how do you get a taco? Buy one!

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Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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two guys walk into a bar. the third guy ducks

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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Dear crush, I want to drink you

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Why did the girl jump? Because she was on a trampoline.

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What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

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A Woman decides she wants to stop making sanwiches for her sexist boyfriend. She walks away and lives a happy life. In hell.

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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What does an eagle and a worm have in common? They both live in the ground. Except the eagle.

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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How do you know it's a Mexican's birthday? They bring cupcakes to school for your entire class to enjoy.

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What do you call a black man in an envelope? A tiny black man

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What do you call a Muslim running a country? Obama

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What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

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What's yellow and can't Swim? A bulldozer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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