Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

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They say there is safety in numbers Tell that to six million jews

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Knock Knock. Whose There? Lettuce. Thats impossible.

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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why was there a man outside the 56th floor window? he was a window washer and needed the money.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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What did the mexican get for his brthday? A potatoe

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Life is an abstract object incapable of handing out gifts, thus if given a lemon by life you should go to a doctor to make sure you don't have an undiagnosed disease.

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want to hear a joke? Woman's rights

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why did the plane crash? the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

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what did the chinese guy say to the black guy? hello

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Al Kida and Terry Wrist walk out of jail.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

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Why didn't the family go through the door? Because it was a window.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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Heartlight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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