When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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How dead people are in a graveyard? All of them

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

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I've got a dig bick

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Q: Why was Sally crying? A: Because someone punched her in the face

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american government

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The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

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What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of it coop and there was something shinny on the other side of the street.

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So a priest, a rabbi, a blonde and a black person walk into a bar. The Bar Tender says, "Is this some kind of joke"

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

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This is an anti joke. Please make it the bestest and most well likeded one on this site.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown glue

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Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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Why did George ride his bike to the park? Due to the down economy his parents were forced to sell his bike in order to pay their bills.

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here is Stevie Wonder's poem: sjkgfhdujduehfheuefeufhhf uefuefg eufbejfbefehfehutuge' wiohl;wreohqweiothurelwueths sjtghekltrhlsdifhlziurhlsiurhtwoli

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Are you from Nebraska? 'Cuz you're the only ten i see.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Two Girls One Cup

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What is worse than getting a virus on your computer? Having your mother die of malaria

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Woman's Rights

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Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops