What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms. A: Knock knock! B: Who's there? A: Not Sally.

Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Their, they're, there You're, your

What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

Why was the Asian women crossing 8 lanes of traffic with no blinker? Poor chink had a seizure.

Knock Knock And then I looked through the peephole and I saw it was the handyman that was going to fix my leaky sink so I opened the door

....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

Roses are red Violets are fin I'll be the 6 You be the 9

what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

Ms. Smoot's class

why did the jew cross the road? the ss was chasing him and his family to kill him so he ran across the street to same his family, he got hit by a truck and his family was killed...

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Minecraft!

yo mamma's so stupid, she is not that smart.

Why did Doris want to father children? Because she wanted to have a fry-up with the leftover baby oil

One day Satan, approached his dad and said: DADDY I love you so much, I want to be just like you! That story did not end up so well did it?

there's 4 men, a rabbi, a priest, a monk, and a captain. they all go on the captain's ship for a cruise with a couple hundred people. this was during the cold war, and the ship was mistaken for a war ship, and the russians missled it. the monk says: "we have to get everyone off the ship!" the rabbit say: "NO! the women and children need to get off first! And we should also hail to Satan!" the Captain says: "OMG! It's a talking Rabbit!" the priest then stops the rabbit to death!" the rabbi says: "The rabbit is right! But just the children!" The Captain says: "Screw the children! this ship is going to Hell, we have talking animals saying we should worship the devil!" the priest says: "Do you think we have time" the monk, the rabbi, and the captain stare and beat him to death.... "Well, he was already going to Hell" the Monk says. But during this entire time the ship has been sinking and another missle blows up the ship. Everyone dies, except for Sean Conery...and Chuck Norris.

What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

whats the difference between chuck norris and a normal human being? nothing

whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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