Q: How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? A: They beat her.

What did one homo say to the other? Well, the politically correct term is homosexual, and he didn't say anything because they've never met.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

I enjoy anal.

You read the Terms of Service.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

A baby gets hit by a bus.

whats worse than finding out you have Alzheimer's? Finding out you have Alzheimer's

8====D~~~~~~

Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

What did Death say to Life? "Look, I respect that you waited till after I broke up with Sandy to ask her out, but it's still a little akward for me, so although there are no hard feelings, it's probably better if we keep our distance from each other for awhile."

What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

What's harder than a rock? The dead baby in my freezer.

Why do migrant birds fly to the south? Because they can't get there on foot.

roses are red violets are blue my cat died and i have alsheimers who are you

Two aspies don't walk into a bar.

why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

What is red and itchy? Something that itches and it turns red if you itch it to much

Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

A black guy and Hispanic guy jump off the Empire State Building at the EXACT same time. Who dies first? Who cares?!

whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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