What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She got shot.

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

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What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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A very unskillful basketball team enters a basketball tournament. They had little chance of winning and concluded with a loss.

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Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

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Why couldn't little Sally talk? Someone stapled her tongue to wall.

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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what is long, black and looks like a curly-hair? A curly-hair

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What happened when the lawyer pissed all over the judge? He was thrown off the case, causing him to go home, rape his wife, and put a bullet into his child's head.

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A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

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Why did the fat kid drop his Mcdonalds? Because he had a stroke.

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2 men shot up a morgue, 16 bodies remain dead

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What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the terrorist miss the flight he was supposed to blow up? He forgot his passport.

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A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Red head walk into a bar They are friends from school and have not seen each other in 15 years; they are hoping to have a good night out

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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Dick spice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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