A dog and a bird are sitting in the front yard of a small suburban community. The bird turns to the dog and says nothing, because birds lack the ability to speak. The dog then reaches down and slowly consumes the bird before returning to his house.

so one day i was getting my daughter artemisia ready for school and so i came in her room and got her pants and so i put it on and then i said did you grow during the summer really did you and then she said daddy both of my feet are stuck on one side of the leg

Q: What did Gaddafi get for Christmas? A: Brain Surgery

What is long and black? Some umbrellas.

Why do blondes like cheez whiz? Because it tastes good

So an Indian walks into a bar and says: ? ?? ??? ?????? ??? ??? ? ??? ??? ??????

i may not know where you sleep. but, i spiked your drink with sleeping pills

Thumbs this down

Yeah? You like that? Its like art for some.

Q: Why did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

An atheist and a Christian are sitting next to each other on the bus, however both of them believe it inappropriate to talk religion with complete strangers so neither one finds out about the others beliefs and they never see each other again.

A blonde woman walked into a bar. She ordered a scotch.

What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

Q:theres a man on a tight rope 3000 feet above ground and theres a man getting head from a 90 year old women with no teath. what did they both say? A: dont look down.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. V

Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because his school was nuked.

What do you get when you cross a donkey and a horse? a mule

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing.

Q: Why is it sad that nobody was injured in a train crash? A: Because everyone died

porn-hub

give one word to discribe a man who has been in combat for 10 years and finnaly gets home to his family and he chokes and dies on piece of brockly. Irony

why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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