A Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. What hit the wall first? Probably his penis.

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Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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what is the difference between babies and trampolines? you take your shoes off when jumping on a trampoline

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a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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What do you call a black man sitting on your couch? A house guest.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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why did the girl eat a banana? because she was hungry

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What do you call a Fish without the I? Astyanax mexicanus, or the Blind Cave variant of the Mexican tetra

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girls lacrosse

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

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a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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