Why did the girl fall down the hill? Her boyfriend pushed her.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What dud the dorito say to the other dorito? Nothing. Sorosis are incapable of speaking because they are doritos

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They're both Tom Cruise.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

After a long romantic date with my girl friend I went home. Upon walking to my bathroom for a dootie i realize that I'm gay. So I break up with my girl friend and I am now in a wonderful relationship with Jose, He sell's sea shells at discount prices.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than finding a worm in Your apple?? A pile of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

.....Carrot Top....

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

redtube

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your momma is so fat, that her doctor recommended that she goes on a diet in order to prevent early death caused by a heart problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than being punched in the face? Being lynched.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats big, round, and full of helium? Michaels Balloon head!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When a suicide-bomber when to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Do you know the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human, and one is an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

thumb_up thumb_down -16

my name is CC im a little bit retarted but i only drink my own urin and sometimes i like to have a big dinner with poop urin and my friends urin CC for life!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops