I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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Why did the black guy only turn left? Because he was mentally retarded and couldn't tell left from right and had no idea where he was going

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

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Q: How do you make a cat bark? A: Douse it in gasoline and throw it in a fire.........WOOF!!!!

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Patrick- hey spongebob i thought of something even funnier then 24 Spongebob- What patrick- 25

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What has 8 legs , 6 eyes and 3 mouths ? - A cowboy riding a horse while holding a chicken .

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

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A girl gets raped -teagan d

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What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

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What's worse than cancer? Death.

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1+1 =? Too

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Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

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A:Knock Knock, B:Who's There? A:Orange, B:Orange Who? A:Orange Banana.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

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A man is talking nonsense at a wall when another man walks up to him. "Why are you talking at a wall?" "I'm trying to appease the mighty wall god Kaleothayrhonka." "Cool, let me join you!" And they both talk at the wall for hours on end because they are stupid that way.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

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"Doctor! Doctor! It hurts when I urinate!" "you may have a kidney stone"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops