Two Haitians walk into a bar and it collapses

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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What do you call a group of Mexicans crossing the U.S. border? A travel soccer team.

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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"Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's. "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, I have Alzheimer's.

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Q.What happens when you win a trophy? A. You don't, there is always someone better than you.

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Jews

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

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I like my women how I like my salad. Without a penis.

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A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

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Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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25

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Two nuns walk into a bar. There is a monkey between them, that they are both holding hands with. The bartender looks to them, and says "Hello sisters, I am sorry, but we do not allow wild animals into the bar. He's gonna have to wait outside," to which one of the nuns responds, "Oh, do not worry, this is no monkey, this is one of our sisters." The bartender is very confused. He chuckles, and says "Alright, well then your sister is going to have to wait outside." The sisters look at each other confusedly, but take the monkey outside, put it on a leash, and tie it to a pole. They proceed back inside, have a few drinks, and leave. The next night, the bar is a little more crowded. The bartender looks up and sees the two nuns entering. He checks to make sure there is no monkey with them, and there is not, so he goes back to serving drinks. A few minutes later, the two nuns are at the front of the bar ready to order drinks. The bartender smiles at them, "No monkey this time?" he asks. "Not tonight," says one of the nuns. "Alright," says the bartender, "what can I get you?" "I'll take a double bourbon," says one of the nuns. "I'll have a gin and tonic, and she'll have the same" says the other nun, motioning to a rhinoceros on her left. "What the fuck!!" yells the bartender. "How did you get this inside?! Where did you even get a rhinoceros?" He realizes these questions are unimportant, and runs to call animal control. By the time he turns around, however, the rhinoceros is gone. He goes to talk to the bouncer. "Dude, why do you keep letting in wild animals?" asks the bartender. "The hell are you talking about?" asks the bouncer. "Last night, two nuns walked in with a monkey, and tonight they somehow got a rhino past you. You didn't see that??" the bartender snaps. "Three nuns came in last night, and three came in tonight. No monkey, no rhino," the bouncer tells him. Meanwhile, as they walked home to the convent, one of the nuns says "Man, I haven't been drunk in weeks." One of the other nuns turns to her and says, "Well, maybe you should stop turning into an animal every time we get into a bar."

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There's three sisters: a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. They know she's not they're real mom.

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What do you call a black man holding a pistol? A black man holding a pistol

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Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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