Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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Why did the mother have a club in her hands covered with red liquid? She spilled her bloody murry while playing golf.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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What do you call George Mills? A very kind, sensitive person with a poor music taste.

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Why did the jew die Really...

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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An boy with ADHD walks into a

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Whats the differance between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

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What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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Why is a blonde a door knob... Because everybody gets a turn

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Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

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What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the last joke.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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Once upon a cross

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm dyslexic couldn't tell, could you?

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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