What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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Toaster

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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What's the difference between a live baby and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't cry.

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What's white and sticky? A glue stick.

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Knock knock. Who is it? The police officer. ok, im not home.

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Do you wanna hear a Ebola joke? You probably won't get it

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Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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what do get when you blend zebra, a cow and a walrus? A not very good smoothie

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A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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if u like this i wont pay you a dollar

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What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

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What's megan fox's bra size? Wait I got a fb notification brb!

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Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

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Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

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ask me if im a house are you a house? no

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After a long romantic date with my girl friend I went home. Upon walking to my bathroom for a dootie i realize that I'm gay. So I break up with my girl friend and I am now in a wonderful relationship with Jose, He sell's sea shells at discount prices.

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What happens when you try to hand feed a shark You have one less hand

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why did billy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a plane that a loaf of bread was driving

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What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

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what happens when two small children jump into a pool full of pedophiles? They splash around and have fun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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