Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

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Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

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What did Jesus REAREAREAREVENAGNCEREALLY SAY when he was walkin on da waterz? And I bless this object which shalth now be known as the surfboard, Amen. Seriously, im a Christian, that sounds kinda cute in a weird way... Like aww, thats why he walked on water, not because of terrifying super powers.

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I get no respect at all. That's because I am a liar and a thief with no redeeming qualities.

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Sharks have teeth, I have teeth, Therefore i am a cat.

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Why didn't the pro-choice, pregnant woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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What did the man say to his wife at the funeral. Nothing, he was dead

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

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The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

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Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

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Whats worse than 3 black people? 4 Black people

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what do you say when you see a winner weaner

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

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Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

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What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

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Hashtag

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What's worse than a bad anti-joke? A bad anti-joke about Skyrim What's worse than a bad anti-joke about Skyrim? The Holocaust

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

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Every time a bell rings, a noise is made.

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Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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