Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

thumb_up thumb_down -4

vbh

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock. Whos there? The police, your wife is dead. The police, your wife is dead who? Sir, this isn't a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

POO IS LARGE WHEN IT COMES OUT OF ME

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What was the Latino man doing on my laptop? He was my friend and he had asked me first. He was also ordering a computer on amazon for himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man get fired? Because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you cross North Korea and the boston marathon? BOMBS! :(

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is 8 times 4? 32

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? "THE chicken" indicates a definite article, you really would have to specify which chicken you're talking about so i can identify whether i was there at the given moment that the chicken tried to cross the road and to ask it his reason for attempting it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

call 803-389-9808 for a good time ;D

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a boy walks over to the living room and shouts " happy birthday, daddy!!" the response is "i'm a cup, therefore i do not have a birthday because i am an inanimate object."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

My name is Harry.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops