whats worse than shitting in a urinal??? shitting in a shower

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a man walks into a bar he is promtly escorted out due to the fact that he wanted to kill the bars owner. The man got life in prison with no chance of parole. This mans name was Michael Myers.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

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How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

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Do you know what will hurt? Getting hurt.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What do you get when you cross a third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil? A third edition X-19 TQRFT scooter with a teal-colored pencil on it.

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A cow was very inconveniently standing in the middle of a golf course. An alligator dragged the cow into a swamp. The cow dies

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Did you hear about the blonde that went to college? She got a degree.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

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A man goes to his doctor and his doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news, which do you want first?" The man says, "The good news." The doctor says, "You were supposed to say the bad news, now you've ruined the joke."

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what is a jews favorite holiday? the halocaust.

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican are in a car... Who is driving... A police man

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Why don't women need watches? Because they probably have a cell phone, which works just as well.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't want to.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? You eat a pizza.

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Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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penis

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what time is it? 3:16

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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