What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

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Why do innocent boys have wet dreams? Cause Jesus sucks.

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What did the Jew say to the other Jew? Found a penny the other day....

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Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why do the cangaroos are weird? cause they have testicles in front and penis back, is real!

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What did the athletic white boy say to the aids carrying African boy? Ha.

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There are two types of people in the world: humans

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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A blonde walks into a bar and orders a drink. The end.

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A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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what do u call a long dik gay guy Gay Dickerson

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What's worse then finding a repeated joke on antijokes? Finding a real joke.

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating it's way out.

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What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican, a black guy and an octopus? I don't know but I don't like it.

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what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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