Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family!

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Why did Bob Marley Shoot the Sheriff? Because he was black.

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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What do get when you cross a lion and tiger? A liger. This hybrid mammal, only observed in captivity, is the largest of all known felines and is thought to be sterile.

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if youre reading this its probably because youre on anti-joke.com

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when do you know your a BOSS................ when you get a promotion

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A man who was clearly tired and worn out enters a bar. The bartender says "Long night, eh?" The man responds "Yes, very. I was with my girlfriend." The bartender says in response "Well I'm sure that was a fun time, if you know what I'm sayin." "No, not really" says the man. Little did the bartender know, the man's girlfriend was a dominatrix.

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A man buy's a new lawn mower, it breaks so he takes it back. The shopworker says that if you don't have a recipt then you cannot replace it, the man goes home and months later catch's a flu.

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BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

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Why didn't little billy have any friends? Billy bought a rifle, and shot everyone he had ever seen or talked to, even his family. Billy then tripped on his walk home and fell off a bridge, and into the ocean. Then a shark came and swallowed him. That is why you should never kill your friends and family because it will come back and bite you. Don't be like billy

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What is grey and looks like a rock? A rock

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why was the boy sad? because he was raped by a clown.

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What do you do when you have those days where you feel that you go back three damn steps for every step you take towards your goal? DUUUUUH! You turn your back, see? Now you are getting three steps at the right direction for every right one! LOGIC!

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What kind of cheese doEs god like? Swiss cheese because it's holy!

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What are we then hypocrites?

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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Why does Santa Claus not have children? Because he only comes once a year.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

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Yo momma so Fat that she got picked for the Olympic Swim Team

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a boy says hi.The girl says bye. The boy starts to cry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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