- Knock Knock - who's there? - Gestapo! open the door!

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Q:Why did the man have a lot of Hoes? A: He was an experienced Agriculturalist.

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What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

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Pain Olympics.

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how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

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How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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Darude - Sandstorm

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Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

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How did the suicide bomber die? Cancer.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He was ferociously raped by a bear.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris says it's beef, politely correct him. He is actually a very sensible fellow and will probably thank you for doing so.

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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What do you call a black man with a group of 5 white guys? Friends. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? a diffrent ratio of black and white friends.

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a girl? You call the proper authorities. Don't try to be a hero.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

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Where do babies come from? My garage

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What's the difference between 6th graders and Jews? 6th graders make it back from camp. :)

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There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

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Why did the monKey fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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