How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why? Whats wrong?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Have you ever heard of Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Keep up the fun Nero!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A black guy with his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do a squirrel and a cucumber have in common? They both cant ride bikes

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

YOU SUCK RYAN V!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U SUCK BALLS!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the audience laugh at Chaz Bono? Because he told a funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't because it had died from an uncaring mother and father that dumped it's corps on the side of the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You know how to torture Hellen Keller? -No. Put a plunger in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If a tree falls on a cat in the woods, does it make a sound? Yes and no, the tree falling makes a loud noise, but the cat under it is instantly killed, preventing any sound that would of been made by the now crushed feline.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what happen to covietz when he licked his balls? nothing he likes the taste

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +17

69

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops