I'm gay. No homo.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs floating in the water? Nothing, because he would drown from his absence of limbs.

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Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

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Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

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Whats black, blue, and doesn't like sex? The little boy in my trunk.

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Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

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Q) 1+1=? A) 6.

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum is fat and so are you

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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What do you get when you have sex with a $10 prostitute? Nothing, she's clean. She may be low-scale, but she'll be damned if she's not careful.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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Alex Eggbert

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Irrelevant. The road is no place for chickens.

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Q: What do you do if A bunch Of black Guys Are raping a white Girl A: Throw A Basketball at them.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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Wow, that makes your name a lot more comfortable to say... Not type, and you seem to be more sensitive than non-red hair girls. Besides its really nice, why do you dye it? Is it like red or ginger?

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping a girl? You call the proper authorities. Don't try to be a hero.

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A Black Guy, A Mexican, A White guy, an Indian guy, Santa Clause and The Easter Bunny Jump off a 500 foot cliff. Which one dies? The all do. But Santa dies first because of his weight and mass.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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YOLO.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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