Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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Women.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? There are many, no human being is exactly alike.

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Why did the blonde stare at the orange juice? She was making sure there was enough sugar in it in case her diabetic son was to have an attack.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

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Women's rights...

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A fat guy eats a twinkie.

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Two giraffes walk into a bar, hit their heads, cracktheir skulls and die.

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You smell like shit

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Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

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What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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What do u call a black man playing a jumping sport? I don't know but it is totally normal.

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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Larry: Why did the chick cross the road? Jeff: Chick? Don't you mean chicken? Larry: Just answer the question. Jeff: Um, why? Larry: Wrong.

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Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

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wheres a place a cancer patient cant go? the hairdressers

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Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

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How did the Joker get away? Because the Batmobile lost a wheel.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

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What is red and does not cry? Half a baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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