Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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Spread the net.

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Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

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Why did the orange fall asleep? Because its never awake.

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Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

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Whats worse than an old guy? An old woman!

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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fjdkhg

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum is fat and so are you

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face", the horse said nothing; because it is a horse.

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What do you get when you have sex with a $10 prostitute? Nothing, she's clean. She may be low-scale, but she'll be damned if she's not careful.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Irrelevant. The road is no place for chickens.

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Alex Eggbert

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Q: What do you do if A bunch Of black Guys Are raping a white Girl A: Throw A Basketball at them.

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Wow, that makes your name a lot more comfortable to say... Not type, and you seem to be more sensitive than non-red hair girls. Besides its really nice, why do you dye it? Is it like red or ginger?

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Whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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Why is the fat kid laying on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops