A blond was driving her car one day when "Party in the USA" came one the radio. She put her hands up; however, she realized she had to keep control of the car. She put one hand back on the steering wheel and arrived to her destination safely.

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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The 80's

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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Q.why did the car crash? A.becaus eit was drivin by a sack of potatos.

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Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

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Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

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How many Puerto Ricans does it take to clog the treads of my tank? Eight

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Paperclip... BANANA?!

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

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a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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British Dentistry

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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You can eat a pie. You can eat a chicken. But you cannot eat a human being because that would be called cannibalism and cannibalism is a felony that can give the government a right to hold you in an international detainment facility for up to 40 years.

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what's worse than finding 8 babies in 1 trash can? nuclear warfare

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Why did Billy start crying? Becuase he's fat and stupid and noboy loves him

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"Behold, the greatest invention Man has ever seen!" exclaimed the inventor of eyes.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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