whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms. knock knock. who's there? well, its not suzie.

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Why? Whats wrong?

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Every time a bell rings, a noise is made.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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A blonde, a redhead, and Asian are talking. They are friends.

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What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

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There was a man from the hood, His limericks weren't very good, So he decided to become a purveyor of monogrammed handkerchiefs and other fine linen products.

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A Chinese man walked into a bar. He now has a minor concussion.

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What is woman spelled backwards? namow.

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One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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Ask me If I'am a tree are u a tree? no.....

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What's 17 times worse than a 3? I don't know, personally I don't think 3's are so bad.

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What's better than winning the Paralympics? Having legs.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they!

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What's white and likes to likes to take frequent jogs? Stephen Hawkings, I meant so say remain motionless

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When do scientologists go to church? When they are done looking at porn.

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What is small, black, and loved by children? An oreo.

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What did the bungee jumper say to his wife? Honey, I'm going bungee jumping today.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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