How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

thumb_up thumb_down +15

The term "shots fired" often reminds me of the time a couple of buddies had a drinking contest and I shoved a lit cigarette down the loser's throat

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did one hater say to the other hater? I hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened to the short kid on april 30th: His girlfriend broke up with him

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What does McDonald's and Michael Jackson have in common? A. They both stick their meat in 13 year old buns.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black guy and a white guy are in a drug store. Who buys the drugs? The customers.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

(-(-(-(--)-)-)-) Look the chinese mafia

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wombat monkey juice.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there? Rob Rob! I haven't seen you in ages come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red violets are blue i uhh umm hold on... the man with Alzheimers proceeds to think of the rest of his poem he wrote for his date, after an hour he remembers but his date has left and the staff proceed to guide him out and back to the insane asylum

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the restaurant serve the black man? He hadn't ordered anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's small, cold, and lifeless? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was Austin sad cause his dick fell off

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the boy do when he got an F on his English paper? -Laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's really weird? It's you Greg!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Billy fall of his bike HE HAD NO BIKE

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Two guys go hunting and one of them aims the sniper at the other guy's house and says "I see your wife's cheating on you again with another man" he replies "I've had it with her, shoot him in the privates and shoot her in the mouth" the friend says "I'll get that in one shot".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops