7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why should you be concerned when you see a mexican riding a bike? because he probably wasnt wearing a helmet

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What's the difference from an muslim and a christian blonde Religion

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered his family.

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Whats worse than swinging a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Seeing your mom dance

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. so why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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how do you make a baby cry kick it off a cliff

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How do you confuse a blond? Begin talking to her about a subject that's not in her field of expertise using complicated technical verbiage and jargon.

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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whats softer than a furry blanket an indian

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Why was Susan tied up on the railroad tracks? Because she was a blonde and her dad told her it was a roller coaster.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I like to rape cats.

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Roses are red, That much is true, but Violet are purple, not ****ing blue

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what smelss like crap.... CRAP dose DUH

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What's worse than an STD ridden Blonde Crack Whore? a black

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

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If a woman was born in China, raised in France and got married and died in New Orleans, what is she? Dead.

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Who can you NOT apply the term "Gentle Giant" to? Dwarfs.

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Why was the light on in the house ? A. the owners were using it

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What did the german get for christmas? an Easy-Bake oven and a G.I. Jew

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What's worse than finding out you have aids? Nothing. Actually I lied. It would suck being an illegal immigrant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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