What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A black man is a human, with feelings, living cells and a loving and devoted family, while a park bench is made from wood and metal and used purely for people to sit on. In parks.

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.....Carrot Top....

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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What does a Dominican and a Russian have in common... they are both thinking of a funny anti-joke to post on this site...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had a seizure.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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26 because if 25 is funnier than 24, 26 should be even funnier right?

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A man walks up to a gay guy and says "you are socially accepted"

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american government

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What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

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Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

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how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

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Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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Q:If an apple and an orange had a politicial debate, what would it concern? A:Nothing important.

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What happened to the boy who lost his arm? He got on suprisingly well in life considering he has the use of only one arm, and got a terrific job. He managed to meet a woman, , and he was a generally happy guy. He lived to a great age, and he, nor anyone around him, ever thought of him as different or disabled. It's good to hear a happy anti joke once in a while isn't it guys?

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Drunk irish man

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

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Why do Asians squint their eyes? They were born like that.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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