Why did Susie fall of the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

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Whats worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Miley Cyrus is Twerk Queen

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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i'm funny

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Can you get me a stapler,make sure it has staples because if it doesn't..........I won't be a ble to staple anything

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What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt

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Whats a box full of sand? a sandsquare

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Why did the mass murderer abandon his killing spree? He found out it was illegal.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It was dead.

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Q. What is a brown cow called? A. A cow.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can not talk, therefore we can never find out from the chicken, who is the only thing that knows why it crossed the road. Scientists have study chickens and say that it most likely saw something edible, like a bug or some grain and walked over to eat it.

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Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it is a largely water-based, delicious fruit that provides refreshment in such a hot country and conveniently flourishes in the said climate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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