Why shouldn't you ask Lebron James for change for a dollar? Because in the year 2013 Lebron will tear his ACL and will never able to play the game again. He then won't be able to land a job because he never finished college. After being unable to land a job, he then develops an expensive crack addiction. His house gets foreclosed, and he becomes broke. And is then a homeless broke man who does not even have 4 quarters to his name.

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how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

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I'm a brony. I'm a brony. I'm a brony. Screw this shit, I'm not a brony anymore. I'm a man. I'm a man. Screw this too. I'm dead, not in bed.

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knock knock Who's there? ... Hello?

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George: I see you got a haircut. Jim: No, I got them all cut.

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding 2 worms in your apple.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Me, myself, and I walked into a bar. We didn't say anything to each other because I'm not schetsophrenic.

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what did one picture frame say to the other? Well you could answer with hows it hanging but thats not logical because they are inanimate

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What did the dog say to the cat before they fought? Lets fight

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Your dad is so bald, that a various number of people compliment him on how well shaven his head is.

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What did the lemon say to the turtle? If you think the lemon said anything, something is wrong with you.

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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The weels on the bus go...flat

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Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

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Do you really want to know what i shit? Poo

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knock knock go away

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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whats cold and in a box...have a guess

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Alex Eggbert

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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