Why did the car stop. someone threw a cow at it.

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Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

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Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a B**ch.

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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Why were Jews discriminated against for thousands of years? They weren't supposed to. Jews are people just like you and me. And for every ignorant person out there that hates Jews, you better watch your back because God is watching you.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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What did the 4 year old black kid ask his father for Christmas? A yo-yo. nah im just kidding he doesnt know who his father is.

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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the

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Why did little Timmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy walk into a bar. They are good interracial friends that like to put down some brewski's with eachother

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what happened to the farm animals? They were slaughtered and their parts were sold as meat, glue and other useful materials

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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A duck waddles into a bar. He orders a drink and promtly drinks it vecause he has had a hard day at work.

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whats a dick a dick

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What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

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Where is Madeline McCann? 6 Feet under....

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What's red and has a mask ? Blood, I lied about the mask.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops