a man walks into a bar and says "help me, my daughter just got hit by a car! the bartender phones the ambulance and the girl survives.

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How do u get an A in algebra? Train a possum.

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What did the man say when he was hit with a flying watermelon? Ouch.

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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Q

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I win an iPad for pooping on someone's head Answer- We have a muddaf**kin winna

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A Guy walks into a bar Ouch

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

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How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

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Whats better than 24? 25.

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A dolphin walked into a bar, wait. . . dolphins can't walk, or go to bars.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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Roses are red violets are blue I have AIDS go get checked

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Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

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Dislike this

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Hi Shelby!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops