When life gives you lemon squeeze it in someone's face

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Darude- Sandstorm

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Yo momma's so dumb, she's not smart.

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why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

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wuts the diference between a black guy and arab? black guy kills whitye guy arab lijkes black guy (no jews or **** thou)

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

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What kind of sex do you have with twenty seven year olds any kind you want there are twenty of them

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Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

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Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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Roses are dead Violets are dead Im a bad gardener

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

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Why doesn't Lebron James have any rings? Cuz he didn't win a championship.

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Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

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A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

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Your mom is so fat, she is having angioplasty. She might need a ride a home.

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skurfboards we love fat kids

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

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A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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