"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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How much does a polar bear weigh? The average male weights approximately 1150lbs.

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A black man trips and falls down. You help him up and ask him if he needs any help. After a brief friendly talk you both continue on your separate ways.

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What's worse than a 15 year old getting hit by a car? Adam Johnson

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

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Their, they're, there You're, your

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how do you get to your favorite chinese restaurant? Wok.

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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I baked you a pie! Oh boy! What flavor? Apple.

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What does A duck smoke? Quack

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A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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what do yo call two dog? dogs.

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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democracy

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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Jews... The only funny thing they did was piss off Adolf Hitler

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Do you want to hear a joke? To bad! :)

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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Cleveland winning something

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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YOLO MAH BROLO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops