What does A duck smoke? Quack

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A man sees a bum laughing. He asks the bum "Why are you laughing", at which point the bum replies "I'm a bum!"

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What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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democracy

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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Do you want to hear a joke? To bad! :)

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Cleveland winning something

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How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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YOLO MAH BROLO

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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What do you get if you cross a bulldog with a schitzu? A half breed prone to allergies and breathing problems.

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What's the difference between Google Chrome and Bing? Not much. They are both very reliable and informative internet browsers.

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Who is a knob? ross d

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So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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What did the man say when he lost all his hair? Man: My life has been getting worse and worse ever since I developed cancer.

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A dog goes to his food bowl. He eats his dinner.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a coke. The bartender looks at the gentlemen with a little smile and says "Just a coke?"

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

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ok so there was a black guy a white guy and an asian in a bar.so the asian guy says lets leave and they all exited the bar.

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What can you conclude about a black man in a mercedes? He has crack and car insurance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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