Friends are like pickles. If you eat them, they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why can't Anne Frank drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The doctor asks the patient how he's doing, the patient says fine. The doctor says "that's weird cause you have leukemia."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A horse walks into a bar and then out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's worst than failing your test? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call an African baby?............................................ A Nigglet.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mother is so fat, that the doctor said, "Go on a diet or you will get a Cardiac Infarction."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

yo mamas so ugly she makes blind children cry

thumb_up thumb_down +14

McDonald's... Giving people with swag jobs since 1942.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the black man say to the Mexican? What a fine day it is!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Question: What is black and white and read all over? Guess: A newspaper? Answer: No. A zebra that was shot by a poacher. Poaching is a serious problem all over the world and should be looked down upon by all. It is not something to joke about.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I had my period 3 days ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A king's son's birthday came one day and the king asked what he wanted. "You can have anything in the world son." He would say. The prince answered,"Oh i'll have some purple ping pong balls." So for his birthday he got a rollar costar, a new car, a water park, a castle, and of corse some purple ping pong balls. The same answer went out of his mouth for three years. One day the prince was driving in his car, and he got into a terrible car accadent. And while he was in the ER and saying his last words, his father asked,"Son, before you die, i must know, why did you want purple ping pong balls for your all of those birthdays?" And the prince said,"Well I wanted them because-" and then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Republicans

thumb_up thumb_down +12

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Where did the little girl go when the bomb went off? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A proton and a neutron talk to each other. Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other: "Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron" The first atom replied, "Are you sure?" The second atom said, "Oh, wait. Never mind. I found it."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happened after Peter broke his toe? He went into cardiac arrest and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops